From Overindulged to Understood: How to Help Your Dog Feel Safe

Ever wonder why some dogs seem to listen better, behave more calmly, and settle easier, even around heavy distractions?

It’s not luck. It’s intentional. And it’s not because the dog is just “a good dog.”

It’s leadership.

It’s structure.

And it’s a shift in the relationship.

This kind of success doesn’t happen by accident - it’s the result of structure, leadership, and the relationship shift we teach every day. (See Johnna’s photos above for proof!)

To have a dog that listens without a leash in your hand, even in public, even around chaos, the dog must first learn to respect rules and boundaries. That’s what makes their behavior reliable.

But structure doesn’t just mean “sit” and “stay.” It means a life that includes accountability, direction, and earned privileges, not just endless free access to everything they want.

This is where most well-meaning dog owners get stuck. Not because they don’t care. But because they care so much, they “overgive”. 

They let the dog have access to everything - sofas, treats, attention, toys, affection - without requiring anything first. The dog gets recess all day long… but never goes to school.

And here’s the hard truth:

Dogs raised on a constant “recess” mentality without structure or boundaries develop an internal sense of entitlement. And just like people, entitlement leads to frustration, impatience, and pushiness, especially when the world doesn’t give them what they expect. That’s where we start to see jumping, barking, leash-pulling, reactivity, and yes… aggression.

Dogs need mental reps more than mental breaks. Think of too much recess as allowing a constant regress. And this is why we constantly see fully grown dogs acting like “puppies”. They never mentally matured, just the body.

On the flipside, we see some disciplined owners who do the right work have young puppies who are more mentally mature and living their best life, and often in an off-leash fashion. It takes maturity to be off-leash AND reliable.

The irony? Many times, the owner is spoiling the dog because it makes the owner feel good. It feels good to cuddle. It feels good to comfort. It feels good to treat.  To allow. To always be allowing.  It feels good to indulge their dog’s wants.

But that short-term pleasure often leads to long-term problems.

It’s kind of like parenting.

We put kids in school for most of the day, then they get a short recess. Adults go to work all week, and maybe get a weekend or a short vacation. We eat clean most of the time, and maybe reward ourselves with a piece of cake. It’s the structure and discipline first that allows the reward to feel earned, and that balance is what shapes good character.

Dogs are no different.

We meet a lot of dogs who are sweet, loving, and deeply bonded with their owners, or at least, that’s what it seems like on the surface. But often, what feels like a “strong bond” is actually over-attachment.

At its worst, this looks like full-blown separation anxiety. More commonly, it’s persistent whining or restlessness when the dog isn’t physically touching the owner. That’s not confidence, that’s emotional dependency.

And that’s when they start to seem anxious, chaotic, or out of control, not because they’re bad dogs, but because the boundaries haven’t been consistently taught or maintained.

And when that goes unaddressed, it becomes the very thing that keeps the dog from being calm or stable in daily life.  

"Dogs don’t need more freedom. They need more leadership and structure"

When owners start training with us, they often realize they haven’t been leading, they’ve just been giving. And giving. And giving….and unknowingly or “passively” allowing. Which feels loving… until the doorbell rings. Or a guest comes over. Or it’s time to walk the dog in the neighborhood or public.

That’s when love turns into frustration.

That’s when you feel the gap. And frustration turns to resentment. And before long, the dog’s stuck in the canine version of juvie - bounced around, misunderstood, and labeled as “too much” wherever they go.

But here’s the good news: dogs can change. And so can the relationship. Dogs can change if the person changes.

With the right training, owners learn to step up as leaders - calm, consistent, and fair. Dogs begin to see the world differently. They learn to wait. They learn to earn. And they learn that calm is the doorway to all the good stuff in life.  and the cool part is that we never have to yell nor raise our voice. We get to remain peaceful ourselves as the human.

That’s when walks feel smooth.

That’s when off-leash control starts to emerge.

That’s when dogs can “place” or “down” in the middle of chaos and stay grounded.

And all of that?

It doesn’t come from bribery or yelling.

It comes from clarity, consistency, and a relationship built on the right foundation.

Because when the right approach replaces overindulgence, dogs don't just behave better, they feel better.

And so do you.

If that’s the kind of change you want with your dog, we can help you get there.

Curious what that would look like with your dog? Let’s talk!

Btw, great job to Johnna and Kayleigh for the hard work with their shepherds!